In financial liberation, what is the only thing that matters?

My title is a spin-off of Neale Donald Walsh book "The Only Thing That Matters" which I've been reading in parts and yet to get my hands on the book itself. Neale is a spiritual and  inspirational speaker and writer.  It is my hope and prayer that one day I'll be able to manifest even an ounce of his wisdom and faith. Check out and be inspired - https://www.facebook.com/NealeDonaldWalsch 

In financial liberation, what is the only thing that matters?

It is not uncommon to hear people suddenly getting sick and being terminally ill. That’s it, fatal, now running against time.  Pondering upon it, the sickness has been manifesting for so long.  Only the symptoms are being ignored, dismissed or just pretty too busy to care - until you just drop dead.

Financial breakdown is similarly the same. It started with a few verbal IOUs to relatives and friends, then clean unsecured loans, then collateral loans; each made to cover the previous ones. Then one day you just wake up financially broke and broken, spirit wise.

You choose to ignore the signs. You’ve been maxing out on your credit card, resorting to cash advance to support your daily expenses. You’ve been receiving collection letters of varying degrees of threat of shame and exposure.  Ringing phones freeze you, even teaching kids and friends to deny your presence.  Worse, you fail to attend family gatherings and events where you might encounter relatives whom you owe money.   

Yet you still continue, hoping and praying, …and hoping and praying that something will come up, that a windfall of money will be coming to bail you out, and more superfluous, is that you’ll win the lotto jackpot.

All these are just denials. It’s like chasing your tail. Everything is a cycle but each cycle drives you deeper in debt and depression.  It’s an unseen cage, covering you in shame, self-doubt, limiting you.  You’re in a downward spin.

Being deep in debt can have ill effects on your physical health, triggering stress –related sickness that when prolonged can prove fatal.  It can also work adversely on your mental health.  Worry over debts can cause depression and inability to make wise decisions. How many times have we seen well educated and known personalities lose material investments, results of lifetime hard work, due to wrong business decisions?  Being in debt compromises decision making and independence. Relationships can also suffer. Families break-up because of family matters. Relatives and friends may shy away from you, not wanting a share on your burden.  Or worse, if you owe them and still unpaid, can hold a grudge against you for a long time.

So what matters first in financial liberation? SIMPLY ACKNOWLEDGE IT. Accept your situation as a problem that has to be resolved. Simply recognizing that you have a problem will trigger your mind into creativity. You will be able think solutions in your current situation. This will also put you into the sphere of people that can help you out.

Don’t let pride get in the way. Your step, you decide.  Free yourself.

Jbd 04112013

Long Distance Relationships

Aired at RADIO INQUIRER 990AM  last August 31, 2012 , Josa on Air @ Bantay OCW

My husband left for Middle East assignment last Dec. 31, 2011.  Yes, you can read back, on the eve of New Year!  It was our first separation in all  of our 16 years of marriage. Whoa!   You can imagine how the separation hit me so hard.  It was so tough for me that for 2 whole weeks I was like a headless chicken going everywhere and nowhere.   Writing about this now still produces that same longing and pain I had since the day he left but am much saner. more focused  and productive.   Read on how I did it!
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LDRs or Long Distance Relationships seems easier these days with the availability of various social networking sites and face to face online communications that are cheaper and faster. Sure, It is easier to communicate but how does one manage long distance relationships?

1. Pick your medium.

At the onset, each should discuss the time and manner of communication that is convenient for both.  While  video calling maybe comfortable for others, it may create pressure on the other.  Other forms such as text messaging or email may be explored. Familiarize yourself with the technical aspects of an online conversation. It is frustrating having to fix something in the middle of a chat. Try to limit talk time. Consider time differences and convenience of each party.  Establish agreed rules but resist control. Remind yourself by jotting down issues that need to be discussed as partners/ family.  Keep the partner or spouse updated and informed but not burdened.

2. Maintain excitement.
 

 Be spontaneous. Create surprises. You may want to send a card via courier or snail mail.  Record a good morning greeting video, a song or poem.  Do things that you enjoy doing together as if your partner is physically with you. You may eat meals "together" or visit websites, share your bucket list etc.  You can include other family members specially the kids. Being spontaneous brings out more laughter and excitement and breaks the monotony of just you and partner chatting online.

3. RE-INVENT YOURSELF

photo by Louise Delovieres

Welcome the separation and use the time to improve and empower yourself. Other couples request for cool off.  Go into a physical fitness regimen. Learn another language, a new skill or hobby or start again on the diet you keep on breaking.  Your new skills may also augment the family’s income. Continuously improving yourself holds your self esteem up. You can also try learning relaxation and meditation, both  known to improve self control and patience which can really be put to test by LDRs.

4. ESTABLISH YOUR END TIME

Agree on a time goal until when the separation will be. Set a certain number of months or years that you’re willing to endure for LDRs.  Without an endpoint in view, love will just start to wane.

5. NO COMPROMISE.

Do not compromise trust and faithfulness,  specially for married partners.  Never put yourself in a position that will cause your partner to doubt your integrity. If you must go into an activity or event, state so your intention to your partner. Removing gray areas in your relationship will strengthen it and will lead to other areas of interests and interaction.

LDRs can be a challenge to handle. It requires focus and commitment plus a good measure of time and money.  Quite a lot for a relationship huh? Keeping up only says you want that relationship to last.

Space and time are just relative realities. Love can make them vanish.

                   Mantra : I am loved and I have faith!